| For the stragglers.... |
[17 Feb 2007|12:05am] |
Just in case you weren't aware, I switched to myspace blogging a long ass time ago. Don't jump to any conclusions or anything, because now everything is found at www.complicatedanimal.com.
This is not anything really special. I just needed a server that had more space than the one I used to have, and geocities offered a better deal with more space.
I also want you to know, that as startling as it may seem, I'm actually enrolled in school once more. It's only Macomb, but fuck the naysayers, it's without question, better than nothing.
As soon as this term is done, I'm applying for a scholarship that is a free ride at Specs-Howard. I am also going to try and stick with MCC as well, aiming for a simple two year degree in english, but at this moment I have no understanding of Specs-Howard's class times, so I can't state this as being accurate. Regardless, after I complete Specs, I will enroll at MCC again.
It is without question that it is beyond fucked up that it has taken me this long to have any kind of focus, especially now that I have become a bit more settled in, what with owning the house and all of the bullshit that comes along with it. None of it matters anyway, since everything seems to be working out.
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| This |
[23 Nov 2006|01:41am] |
I regret to inform you all that no matter how hard you have tried, I have still managed to survive.
Next time world, try harder.
Just be warned that I won't let you win.
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[20 Oct 2006|01:49pm] |
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I find myself living in the past because the future never looks promising.
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[17 Oct 2006|07:30pm] |
Do you know what my problem is?
COULD YOU FUCKING TELL ME?
I'm trying to piece all of it together. I can't do it. I just can't fucking do it. Everything was supposed to be so simplistic, so easy, but NOTHING is ever easy. I inititally thought I had it handled, and I'm confident that I did, but sometimes plans change.
The honest truth is that I am little more than a scared little man who can't understand anything that's going on in the world.
When you combine that with the very real possibility that I am slowly losing my mind, it adds up to be a very dangerous mixture.
I don't know where I am, I don't know what I'm doing. The only thing that I have managed to grasp is that I want out of whatever it is NOW, MORE THAN EVER.
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| this; |
[14 Oct 2006|01:17pm] |
I make accusations and quickly develop opinions on people, places, and things. It's not as though I blindly voice these opinions in a hurtful way right out of the gate. It typically takes either one really large incident, or a series of smaller incidents that prove my initial thoughts. In other words, sometimes people can prove themselves to me in an instant, and other times it takes forever for me to realize that I was right, or that I was totally wrong.
I don't think that I'm really any different than anyone else, in that we all develop first impressions that can oftentimes be long-lasting.
However, by behaving exactly like everyone else on the planet, I come under fire more times than I care to comment on, for every little impression I have. I think the only part of all of this which makes me different than a lot of people is that I often don't feel the need to be accepting of people. I don't strive to like everyone, especially those that make it a point to go against the grain of everything I believe in, or, in some cases, strike me as nothing more than a pain in the ass.
People all have value; this I know, and this I understand, but just because an individual might wind up finding a cure for cancer, doesn't necessarily mean that I'm going to like that person or enjoy their company.
I have a difficult time dealing with people. I typically dislike social engagements. I'm not really into parties, concerts are typically 75% crap, and bars kind of make my head hurt. Yet, I still go to these places, because I realize that if I shut myself in completely, I'm fucked.
More than anything, my problems with people are the motivations behind whatever it is they are doing, and how they are presenting themselves. I truly believe that now, more than ever, the entire country is trapped in some kind of twisted identity crisis, where folks of all ages are identifying with things that they don't necessarily agree with, in some attempt to really fit in. The 'reality' of the 'individual,' is gone. Everywhere you go, be it the local hardcore show, the metal bar, the goth bar, the trendsetter punk bar, the upperclass italian restaurant, wherever; it seems to be packed to the brim with nothing more than a large group of people who simultaneously agree on virtutally everything.
Perhaps my perceptions of everything are majorly flawed, I don't know. It just feels that whenever someone does step up to the plate, and tries something different, speaks an opinion outside of the norm, they are shunned from whatever group they are affiliated with.
I'm sorry if it seems like bullshit to me that a person must present themselves a certain way in order to gain acceptance. Personally, I'd much rather spend my life without any friends, and without any kind of support group, as myself, and not some bastardized version of that.
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| Now hear this; |
[01 Oct 2006|11:56am] |
No bullshit here;
1.) The house has it's own myspace page, located here; http://www.myspace.com/onetwo568. Add the house, because it wants you to do so.
2.) Weekly/Monthly/Whenever webcasts/podcasts will be coming soon... I'm 90% certain that Dave won't want to be recorded, but we'll get secret audio of him and exploit it endlessly. It should prove interesting to see what Nick and I do.
3.) Still trying to figure out exactly what the fuck all of that was about, but not really actively trying at all. It's probably just coincidence, but it seems as though once things really start to come together in my world, pieces of the past feel the need to show up and make attempts to ruin it. Sadly, as much as I fight it, I'm still a considerate person, and when shit like this happens it sends up red flags. I'd really rather not have anyone have to endure the shit that I have on their own. Then again, fuck 'em.
4.) The world is 'retarded-good,' at this point, despite having no money, a car that's about to explode. None of you want to hear me be 'happy,' so I'll give it a twist. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit apprehensive of the future, as things are most likely going to really change the dynamic around here come January.
5.) While all else is well, I am beyond tired and feel sick. I stayed home from work today because I can barely move.
This is really quite boring, so I'll tell you a thing or two about Semi-Truck drivers.... Last week two drivers made two seperate attempts to kill me. I'm only going to share one of them. The second is just horrible, and I'm still pissed about it. The first was while delivering parts on Michigan Ave, just inches north of Dearborn. They (MDOT) have fucked that stretch of road up so bad that all cross traffic is forced to go into the neighborhoods behind Michigan Ave, with only two or three outlets to the main stretch over what feels like 2 miles of traffic moving at 4 miles an hour. This nice truck driver was so preoccupied with keeping his trailer from hitting the curb, that he decided looking out the windshield before making his wide right turn wasn't all that important. He was probably about 4 feet from me and closing in quickly before I realized that he had absolutely no fucking idea what he was doing. I naturally laid on the horn as a wake up call. Rather than wave his hand in a relieved sort of manner, he decided that it was best to throw his hands in the air to show his frustration with me for, well, doing exactly what anyone else would have done. I just cut the wheel hard, as it was my turn to move, went around his stupid ass and gave a nice hand gesture with an altogether appropriate 'fuck you.'
After that I used a pay phone to call work, smelled crackhead on the receiver and felt a film on my ear from where the paper towel had, unbeknownst to me, slipped out from between the earpiece and my head. I quickly drove nearby to Ale's house and scrubbed my ear red. I don't mind germs, I carry plenty of them. I'm just not a big fan of mine breeding with other germs. The last thing I need is genital warts on my ear. Nasty.
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[29 Sep 2006|07:37pm] |
I AM GOING TO START PLAYING FAST MUSIC AGAIN. I DON'T CARE WHO GETS HURT, AND IF YOU AREN'T ON BOARD YOU CAN FUCK OFF. END OF ENTRY.
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[27 Sep 2006|01:21am] |
It's four o'clock in the morning, and I'm fairly confident that I have no option left but to bite the bullet for the next two hours. I've got to keep myself busy and most importantly, awake.
I'd write a massive entry, but I'm not sure if staring at a computer screen is my best course of action in accomplishing the previously mentioned goal. So, I guess I'm just going to type until I get bored with it...
I don't get what it is with September, and quite frankly, I don't want to know for fear of spoiling the magic of it. I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that the last 5 hours of my life were quite possibly the best thus far. I didn't accomplish a damn thing. I didn't write the ultimate song that will put me down in history. I didn't win a ton of money. I didn't climb a mountain. I didn't write the next great american novel. As I said, I didn't accomplish a damn thing at all.
I merely spent those five hours with one of the most wonderful human beings that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
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[25 Sep 2006|10:40pm] |
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I'm a fucking God, and you shall address me as such.
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[24 Sep 2006|06:52pm] |
house
that's the house from the street. that's a strobe in the peak.
that's good ol' evil st. francis.
that's the porch. it looks like the garden bowl at night, except less stupid, because those are fucking carrots.
the honest truth is that neither nick or i really give a damn about halloween. we're just fucking stupid. if you think this is bad, wait until christmas rolls around, because we intended upon lowering property values with nothing less than 1 million .5 watt x-mas bulbs. if we can't be seen from the moon, we've failed.
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[24 Sep 2006|03:08pm] |
I make phone calls with deaf relay services.
So yeah, that's most likely me calling you.
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[24 Sep 2006|12:45pm] |
I don't think that anyone out there understands how critical the beatles 'revolver' album is. It has every element that is REQUIRED in order to create a masterpiece, and obviously, the entire record is just that; a masterpiece.
As a direct result of my rediscovery of this album in recent months, I'm really planning on sucking it up and getting piano lessons. It's something that I've always wanted to do, but either refused to do so because of it not being "cool," or because I didn't have the time/finances. At this moment, I think I may have the time, and I'm sure I could figure out a way to get the money, but I just need to find the right teacher. It's important that whoever I pick to do this task understands that I'm pretty stuck in my ways, and that I have very little interest in learning how to actually sight-read music... obviously this creates a huge dilemma, since I would imagine that most teachers that are worth a shit are not really interested in being unconventional. I'm just looking to get a little bit of theory in my head, the proper way to structure chords, and basic exercises to make my left and right hand work together. Obviously with how I play guitar my right hand requires a lot less thinking.
The truth is I'll probably just end up putting a piano in the house and teach myself.
Anyway, back to the original statement; this album is mind blowing. I realize that many folks point to the white album or let it be as being the best, but I'm not so sure of that. I'd also like to take this moment to call out all of those people who slam the beatles constantly without any real merit. It's awfully upsetting when a person decides to dislike something due to it's widespread appeal. This isn't Nickelback or some manufactured shit, it's fucking REAL. Although I will confess, Ringo Starr should never have been given a microphone.
Well, enough of that...
Who's up for pizza and hand grenades?
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| I'm BACK |
[23 Sep 2006|06:03pm] |
I AM BACK ON THE INTERNET!
WE HAVE IT AT HOME!
DAVE DOESN'T KNOW, BECAUSE HE'S NEVER AT HOME!
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[22 Sep 2006|01:10pm] |
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Just in case you weren't aware (right), Jackass 2 is going to be the best thing happening today.
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| Not sure; |
[18 Sep 2006|05:55pm] |
Yep. That about sums all of this up. I'm "not sure."
I've decided that I'm coming back to this nonsense, due mainly in part to it's simplicity. There's just too much shit going on with myspace for me to stay focused, and as most of you know, I need focus badly. This isn't the end of my myspace blog, I'll still randomly post nonsense in it, since it has the feel of being a bit more isolated and not so accessable (I understand that this isn't exactly a true statement).
Anyway, it's been a long time coming, and I only have about 15 minutes to hammer out as much shit as I can, before I am asked to leave the building.
I am still alive. At this point you are either rejoicing, or rioting in the streets with rage. In the long run, I suppose it doesn't really matter either which way. I've come to terms with a pretty large chunk of things, and I guess I'm better off for it. I recognize and understand that I am truly not better than everyone else. At times, of course. However, there are some moments where I am a foul and horrid human being. I speak loudly and I put the feelings of others on the backburner. This is not something that I will ever change, nor would I ever wish to do so, but I'm just letting the world know right here and right now that I am aware of it.
I have been working with my cohorts in the mock-jargon party, playing a more active role than I ever have in any project I have been involved in. It's somewhat of a release, and it keeps me in check. The songs which I have arranged are going to be recorded VERY soon, and I hope some of you will take interest in them. I'm totally aware that what I am attempting to accomplish is not the 'first choice,' of most of the people who I have aligned myself with over time, but this is different, in that I'm not really on a quest to please anyone but myself. In turn, it makes what I'm doing now so much more enjoyable, and also- so much more real.
The house has real garbage house potential. Nick Coulter moved in a while back, and since then we've installed a blacklight on the front porch, and have painted everything with neon paint. In the past few weeks, we've gone to town with fake spider webs. I will, in a non-creepy way, bestow candy upon kids on halloween. In other house/neighborhood news, arsonists recently set fire to an abandoned house roughly 5 houses down from me. Sad that it had to come to this, but the whole ordeal created a sense of community. I've made some light plans with a few of the neighbors to plant a community garden in the backyard of the burned-out house. Hopefully I can find the time to take care of this.
I'm seeing someone, and I don't know who knows what, but I am totally aware that the two of us don't go shouting from the rooftops every single time something happens in our lives. I will say the following; aside from me being sick this past weekend, it's been an enjoyable time with someone who I (and yes, I am very afraid of sounding cliche' but I'm going to do it anyway), really identify with. It's strange how what you are looking for is often right under your nose, isn't it? I'd go into more details, but quite frankly, some aspects of my life are mine, and are not the property of anyone else. You should do one of two things; either be happy for me, or curse me for being so-fucking-lucky.
Anyway, we've closing up at work, and I've got to go now before the boss man kills me.
I'll keep in touch more-
P.S.
DANNY P! MY PHONE IS OFF BROTHER!
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[14 Jun 2006|06:58pm] |
I never update this thing.
Now I am... for no real reason.
I'm in the hole for about 500 dollars, possibly more, to the bank. I've decided that if I ignore my problems, they will eventually go away, all will be well, and almost-supermodel caliber women will arrive on the front porch and give me blowjobs.
HOPE...
...is alive and kickin'!
Anyway, I'm really just dropping a line here to let people know that I am the worst neighbor ever. I'm loud, either instruments, stereo, or megaphone. I have christmas lights on the front porch, for 2 reasons; 1. It's June, and 2. because they accent the giant inflatable beer glasses which are swinging in the breeze. I've developed a bitchin' alcohol problem, where I become almost non-functional for one consecutive week, and sober the next; kind of like a teeter-totter of self-destruction. It's great. I've found love in 2 places; a kitten named Riley, and Tequila. Actually, make that three places, the third being mystery science theater 3000 DVD's. I'm indulging in massive amounts of sex, with myself, and it's fantastic for multiple reasons. 1.) It costs nothing, no dinner, no movie, no conversation, it's awesome. 2.) It's clean. My hand has given me zero STD's, and I'm fairly confident that it won't cheat on me with another man. 3.) My hand doesn't hog the bed. It rocks.
So that's that. Later.
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[18 Apr 2006|12:27pm] |
PLEASE ANSWER ME THIS;
Deal with it please, and read it:
I'd like to take a moment to try and understand the arrogance of people.
See, I own this house right? Sadly, my life is no longer the fucking brilliant "get-up-and-go" life that it used to be, and now I'm quite a bit grounded to my job, and the house itself.
There are bills to pay, things to repair, and that seemingly never-ending worry about what stupid thing is going to happen next which will fuck my life up. There's too many variables.
Let's assume that I have someone move into my house; emphasis on "MY." As in, it's mine, my name is on the paperwork, my name is on the bills, and it's my ass which is on the line in the event of things getting fucked up. Let's assume that I don't manage to make the house payment; when you don't make the house payment, and your name is on all of the bullshit loan paperwork, you will eventually lose the house, be struck with a horrendous credit rating, and your overall life will pretty much be sucked of any and all "fun."
See, while I was living with some other folks, in an apartment some time ago, these same rules didn't really apply; there wasn't anything which would be lost; One doesn't "lose" an apartment; that's the type of thing which has to be obtained first; you can't "own" it. In any such case, my splitting off from those two was anything less than enjoyable, and I had plenty of complaints, some of them still stand true, but the majority of them were concerning petty things like the electric bill, and this overwhelming confusion concerning how much power an air conditioner uses, versus how much power a computer draws; all extremely petty shit.
However, I think that it would be safe to say that while I left there in anything but a good mood, I don't seem to recall making any threats against them, or their stuff; the only thing which might be viewed as such would be my refusal to pay bills which I simply could not agree with. Even if I had done such a thing, and threatened to burn the building down, it's not as if it would be any great loss of theirs, as they had nothing invested into it. If they owned the house, well, that would be a completely different story, and as a result of making such a threat, I'd probably be viewed as a total asshole, and rightfully so.
I'm writing this because there's one person out there who's not being named, but might possibly read it, and know damn well that it's about them. Like I said, I'm not going to name anyone, and this is all pointless anyhow, because this person IS NOT on my friends list for this damn thing, and no one who reads it even knows who they are.
So perhaps the story I am hearing is totally one-sided, and I'll admit to only having one view of the whole matter, but I did read something that was wrote by a person who was recently thrown out of a living arrangement, and I'm going to ask those of you who I know on here to give your insights;
Let's assume that you are living in someone's house, let's say you are living in mine. I'm struggling to pay the bills, and who knows if you even acknowledge it; it doesn't matter anyway. So the month of March goes by, and I'm getting a little irate, because you are living in my house and you haven't paid me anything for March at all. April happens, time is going on, and in roughly the middle of the month, after getting no payment from you, I finally decide I can't deal with it. I figure that it's time to send you on your own, because this isn't the first time this has happened, and if I don't make the house payment by a certain date, I get stuck with an extra 50 dollars I have to pay for a late fee, and I simply can't afford to lose an extra 50 bucks, simply because you will pay when "you can." So I give you a month; I say, "time for you to go, sorry," or whatever- you get all upset, call me a dictator, and hang up. So afterwards, you opt to go into a public forum on the internet, and propose the question of "what should I do to get even with my now ex-landlord," and provide multiple choice answers such as shitting on the floor, or vomiting on the dog, etc. Does that give me the right to be overwhelmingly pissed at you? Does that give me the right to throw everything you have out of the house at that very instant?
After all, you've made a threat on me, you've made a threat on my things, my pets, etc.
Would you think that at this point you should strongly consider the possibility of apologizing to "me," for making such bogus threats?
Should you not simply be thankful that I refrained from killing you?
This is all hypothetical; I'm trying to patch what I know from my own home owning experience to fill in the gaps; I don't know if there is a $50 penalty, but I'm assuming that there has to be one for those whom I speak of. I'd like some input, maybe some extra dimension to it; I've been trying to step out of the sphere and move away from what I've been told, but maybe there's an element I'm missing.
Like I said, this has actually taken place, but the parties involved are NOT on my friends page, and nobody reads this who's involved.
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[31 Mar 2006|01:20pm] |
My livejournal (both of them) is a headache to use; if you want to read any of this depressing non-sensical jibberish, subscribe to my blog on myspace.
Or don't.
myspace.com/aaronaitken
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[20 Mar 2006|07:47pm] |
Fuck it.
There are days where I find myself sitting behind the wheel, but I know that I'm not driving.
I'm not driving, I'm not driving, who the fuck is driving?
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